


Parental Phan One Shots

by squeakymarshmallow



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Child, Fluff, M/M, Phan Fluff, parent, parental phan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:04:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8333809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squeakymarshmallow/pseuds/squeakymarshmallow
Summary: Each chapter is going to be a one shot of Dan and Phil raising kids. If you have an idea for a chapter, please share it in the comments and I'll probably do it!





	1. The Beginning

Dan tapped his foot up and down and exhaled nervously. He was never able to sit still when he was anxious. He kept tapping his foot, getting harder and harder as he continued. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his knee. He looked up at his husband of 5 years, Phil, staring back at him warmly.

“It’ll be okay, Dan. There’s no need to worry.” Phil said with a smile. Dan looked down.

“I know it’ll be fine Phil, but I’m worrying anyway.”

“Why?”

“It’s just...god this is so stupid...it’s just what if I’m not a good dad?”

“Dan, come on, we’ll be great parents!”

“Well of course you will, Phil, you’re practically a child yourself!” Phil laughed. “And you never swear! What if our kid’s first word is f-”

“Don’t say that at an adoption facility Dan! There’s literally babies here!”

“Which is exactly my bloody point! There’s no do overs with babies, I’ll slip up and suddenly that’s gonna be all they’re gonna say! I just don’t know if I’m ready…” Dan felt his vision getting blurry with tears.

“Dan… Dan….” Phil said, grabbing his hand. Phil took his other hand to Dan’s chin and tilted his face upwards. “Dan. Look at me. You are going to be an amazing dad. Our kid is gonna be the best dressed, well spoken, and adorable kid in the world because of you. You’re not gonna mess this up, and nobody’s perfect raising children, heck, no one is perfect at anything! That’s what makes us human, which you are! You’re not gonna screw up this kid, I think the worst you could do is give them microwave popcorn for dinner because you’re too lazy to make a proper meal. And do you know why I’m absolutely certain you’ll make a great dad?” Dan looked at him.

“How?”

“Because you’re already the best husband there is.” said Phil tenderly, as he leaned in to kiss him. They kissed for a few seconds and then Dan broke apart and laughed.

“God Phil you’re like a walking Hallmark card.” He said in between chuckles.

“I know, you should know that by now Daniel.” Phil joked, pointing his finger at him.

“Our kid is gonna be the cheesiest little-” Dan stopped talking as the door opened. Phil squeezed Dan’s hand and whispered under his breath.

“This is gonna be the most fun we’ve ever had.”


	2. Dan's Birthday Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's son tries to bake him a cake.

Dan hadn't really celebrated his birthday since he and Phil had kids. He didn't really see the point, his kid's birthdays were way more important. However, Phil still put it on the calendar, which their now 6 year old son Dil (short for Dylan) could read. Dan didn't really think too much of it, it was just another date on the calendar. Dan was asleep in bed on the day, and Phil had gone out for a bit (he always liked to at least get Dan a card or something for his birthday). Dan was in that half asleep state where he was sort of asleep but also sort of awake, and he just wanted to lie like that forever. Not 5 minutes after he had that thought though, he heard a crash from the kitchen. He instantly bolted up and sprinted out of bed. He ran to the kitchen and could not believe his eyes.

In the kitchen he saw flour all over the table. A few eggs were cracked here and there haphazardly. Little baby Louise was covered head to toe in various stages of a batter of some kind, and he saw Dil in the middle, sitting on a bunch of boxes and chairs that were obviously trying to go up to the top shelf, where they kept the sugar, as Dil had the tendency to eat spoonfuls if they let him. As soon as Dil saw Dan, looking as surprised as a person could, he started to tear up. Dan saw this and instantly kneeled next to the small child.

"Hey buddy, what's wrong" He said in a soothing voice. Dil responded through sobs.

"I-I- was trying to make a c-cake cause it's your birthday. Louise was helping me. We wanted it to be a s--s-surprise and you would wake up and there would be a cake for you.... but I was trying to get the sugar cause I needed it for the cake and I... I spilled everything" with this last word he burst into fresh tears and Dan stood there both in awe that his son would try to do that for him, and angry that he was planning to bake an entire cake with a 6 month old baby helping. All he could manage to say was,

"How on earth did you get Louise out of her crib?" Dil looked down and sniffled again.

"I picked her up... she's not heavy..." He said in a small voice. Dan instantly felt more sympathy for his son than anger. He propped him up and looked him in the eyes.

"Dil...sweetie... I am extremely honored that you would want to do that for me. You're such a kind boy. But you have to understand that you and Louise are too young to be cooking anything on your own, let alone a whole cake! I appreciate the heart, but next time, why don't you wait for Papa to come home so he can help you okay buddy?" He smiled. Dil smiled back as he sniffled.

"Okay daddy." He said weakly.

"And speaking of Papa...." Dan trailed off as he looked at the destroyed kitchen. "We better clean this up before he gets home, okay? You can help me with THAT!" Dil giggled.

"Okay daddy!"

"First things first, we should probably clean up you and Louise..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	3. Have Yourself a Very Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil celebrate Christmas with their 3 year old son, Dil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment what you think! :)

“So buddy, what do you want from Santa?” Dan asked his son Dil, booping his nose. Dil looked up, thinking.

 

“A dinosaur!” He exclaimed, eyes lighting up. Dan look over to Phil worriedly. 

 

“Uhhh…. What about… something else?” Phil asked. Dil scrunched his eyebrows.

 

“How about a unicorn?” He asked. Dan and Phil sighed. 

 

“Okay buddy, how about you write out your list and then we’ll send it to Santa for you!” 

 

“Okay!” Dil said happily, the kind of mood change that only a 3 year old could have. He waddled off to get some paper and a pen. He began to draw out what he wanted, since he couldn’t yet write. Dan motioned for Phil to come talk to him. They walked out of the lounge into their bedroom.

 

“Dan what the hell are we supposed to get him?” Phil asked.

 

“Well obviously, a dinosaur and a unicorn!” Dan said, giggling. Phil glared at him.

 

“I’m serious Dan what are we supposed to do? He wants an endangered species and a mythological creature.” Dan thought for a minute. Suddenly, his eyes lit up.

 

“Phil! I’ve got an idea!”

 

Before they knew it, was Christmas Eve. It was 11:30 PM and Dil had finally fallen asleep. Dan had put him to bed and once he was out, he quietly tiptoed out of his room, down to the lounge where Phil was waiting by the tree. Dan gave Phil the wrapped box and Phil looked down at it.

 

“You sure this is gonna work Dan?”

 

“Trust me, he’ll love it. I’ll go eat the cookies.” Dan said, making his way to the plate full of cookies and milk they left out for Santa.

 

“Leave some for me ya jerk.” Phil whispered, trying not to wake up Dil. He placed the present under the tree, with a big tag that said “For Dil” and a drawing of Dil, so he could know that it’s his. Then he made his way to the other side of the room to finish off the cookies Dan had already tucked into. They looked at each other, their mouths full of sugar, and they laughed. 

 

“It’s still so weird being Santa.” Dan whispered fondly. “Seems like it wasn’t that long ago that we still believed in him.” Phil smiled at him.

 

“Yeah, but you know? We’re pretty great at it.” They both smiled, and Phil gave Dan a quick peck on the lips. “We should go to bed now. We still gotta be awake for tomorrow.” Dan nodded and they both made their way to their shared room and drifted off to sleep.

 

They awoke the next morning by a small child jumping on top of them.

 

“DADDY! PAPA! SANTA CAME!!” Dil yelled excitedly. Dan groaned. 

 

“...5 more minutes” he mumbled. He knew that it was definitely earlier than 6. 

 

“Come on, don’t you want to see what Santa brought?” Phil asked Dan playfully. He rolled his eyes and sat up.

 

“Alright you little munchkin, let’s see whatcha got!” he said, picking up Dil. Dil giggled, and grabbed Dan’s hand.

 

“Come on, we gotta go see!” He said, pulling his dad along, with Phil trailing behind. They got to the Christmas tree and Dil kneeled in front of it. “This one’s got my picture on it!” he exclaimed. 

 

“Must be yours then!” Phil said as he sat on the couch. Dil struggled with the box that was only a bit smaller than he was. Once it was in front of him, he wasted no time ripping apart the wrapping paper to find the treasure inside. He opened up the box to find a dinosaur onesie, and a unicorn onesie. Dil’s eyes lit up in joy.

 

“You listened!” he giggled. “It’s what I wanted!” He immediately scrambled to put on the dinosaur onesie. It was a bit too big for him, the sleeves covering his toddler hands. Dan quickly got out his phone and took a picture. He looked at Phil expectedly. The present wasn’t over yet. “I wanna try on the unicorn one!” Dil yelled. He went to put it on but then stopped. “Daddy why is it so small?”

 

“Well…” Dan said, looking at his son’s confused face. “It would need to fit your baby sister wouldn’t it?” They looked at Dil, waiting for him to react. His little face was full of concentration.

 

“Wait…” He said slowly, his little 3 year old brain trying to work out what his dad had said. “You’re having another baby? A girl?” He said excitedly. Dan nodded.

 

“Yup, we’ve been filling out papers for a few months, and she should be coming home in a few weeks!” Dil bounced with joy.

 

“I’m having a baby sister! I’m having a baby sister!” He shouted over and over again. Then he went to hug his dads. “Thank you Daddy and Papa!” He grinned. “This was the best Christmas present! Tell Santa thanks!” He said smiling. Dan looked at Phil, who was playing with Dil’s sleeves. They really were pretty great at being Santa


	4. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Dan explain to his daughter why there's blood in her pants? (I'm sorry for this idk what im doing with my life)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment what you think!

Louise breathed in nervously. She had no idea what had just happened and she had no idea how to tell her dads. They were never good with anything to do with ...that area… and she knew Dil would tease her forever if he knew. She just didn’t understand why there was suddenly blood in her pants. She stared at it, as if it would go away if she stared hard enough. She had no idea why this was happening to her. The 11 year old felt so confused, as she thought about what could be causing this. She decided she had to tell them. She pulled up her pants and washed her hands, and started to make her way to her dads’ room. 

 

Dan was quietly reading a book when he heard a knock on the door.

 

“Come in?” He said in a sing song voice. He slowly saw the face of Louise peeking through the door, looking quite scared. His eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Louise, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Louise gulped and looked down.

 

“Well, Dad… when I was going to the bathroom just now, I saw, blood? Down there?” She asked quietly. “Why?” She asked her dad. Dan’s eyes widened. All he could think was “Shit fuck goddamn it shit shit shit”. His daughter looked up at him innocently. He realized he had to say SOMETHING, so he opened his mouth to talk.

 

“W-well sweetie!” He started. That's just… your period. It’s what happens when you start puberty!” He said nervously.

 

“Oh okay.” Louise said. “What’s puberty then?”

 

FUCK.

 

“Uhhh….well…” Dan stuttered. He wasn’t prepared to give the talk to Louise yet. He thought he wouldn’t have to for another few years. Dil didn’t need the talk till he was 13. “Phil!” He yelled out. “Get in here!” Phil walked over. 

 

“What’s up Dan?” He asked. Dan gestured to Louise.

 

“Louise here just… got her period” Dan said very bluntly. 

 

“Oh!” Phil said. He took a moment to process this. “Well... what questions do you have sweetie?” Louise looked down.

 

“Why is it happening? Dad just said it was because of puberty but I still don’t know what that is.” Phil looked up at Dan pointedly. 

 

“What was I supposed to do?” Dan mouthed to Phil, obviously flustered. Phil kneeled down a bit so he was at Louise’s eye level.

 

“Sweetie, this is something that happens when you start to grow up. Puberty is when you go from a kid into an adult, physically anyway. How about we find a video that can explain it better than I can, while Dad goes to buy some stuff to help with your period right now.” Louise nodded slowly, still a bit embarrassed, but comforted by his words.

 

“Okay Papa.” She said quietly. 

 

“Alright then, let’s go to YouTube!” Phil said, sitting on the bed while reaching for his laptop. Louise sat down next to him. As her and Phil started to watch the sex ed type video, Dan left the room to go to the nearest corner store to pick up some pads and chocolate. He sighed. Thank god he had Phil to help him with this sort of thing.


	5. Dil´s New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dil brings his new friend home after school.

Phil was in the kitchen, making some spaghetti for dinner. Dil and Louise would be home from school any moment. Now that Dil could drive, they didn't need to pick up the kids after school, which was very convenient. Dil could just go and pick up Louise and then come home. Dan hummed to himself as he check to see that the water was boiling and putting the pasta into the pot. He heard the front door open and he smiled, and made his way to the lounge to say hi to the kids.

As he got within view of the door, he brow furrowed in confusion. There were three people in the doorway. Dil and Louise were there, but he also saw a girl, about Dil´s age, with long purple hair and heavy eyeliner. Phil´s eyes lit up instantly. She looked just like the girl Dil had been talking about for weeks. Looks like he finally fired up the courage to invite her over. And this was the perfect time to embarrass his son. He barged into the room loudly.

¨Dil! Louise! Welcome home!¨ He said loudly, all three kids jumped in surprise. He put his arms around Dil. ¨Dil buddy! Who´s your little friend?¨ he said, emphasizing it just right to be peak embarrassing dad material. Dil blushed and looked down at the floor.

¨Papa, this is… Jill. She´s a… friend… from school¨ Dil said quietly. Louise snorted.  
¨Yeah more like GIRLFR-¨ she started to yell before her mouth was quickly covered with Dil´s hand. Jill looked at Dil questionly. Phil laughed a bit.

¨What´s this about a girlfriend?¨ He asked, as if he had no clue what Louise was talking about. ¨Our little pickle is all grown up!¨ Dil´s face got redder.

¨Come on why that nickname?¨ he muttered under his breath. Jill giggled.

¨Oh I get it! Because your name is Dil!¨ she said, laughing slightly. Phil reached out to shake her hand.

¨Well I'm glad to meet ya Jill! Don´t know how Dil managed to find a catch like you!¨ Now it was Jill´s turn to blush. 

¨Well, I´m going to go to the bathroom¨ Dil said awkwardly, practically bolting out of the room. Phil chuckled. The remaining three stood there for a minute, before Louise spoke up.

¨I´m gonna go do my homework¨ She said sweetly, as she picked up her backpack from the floor and made her way upstairs. Phil cleared his throat. 

¨So, Dil´s told me a lot about you!¨

Dil sauntered back into the main room, wiping his hands on his pants. He glanced up casually, and his eyes immediately widened in horror. His papa was sitting on the couch with Jill, and they were looking at a photo album.

¨And this was his first bath! Look at his little butt!¨ Phil turned the album so Jill could see the photo better. She laughed out loud. Dil froze. Phil looked up from the album and saw Dil in the hallway.

¨Dil come join us! We're having a great time, Jill´s a sweet girl!¨ Phil said happily. Dil went into panic. He had to think of something to get himself out of this.

¨Actually Papa… I can´t because…. Jill was supposed to help me with my math! Yeah! So we have to get to work!¨ He said nervously. 

¨Oh okay! Well I won't get in the way of… learning¨ Phil said with a wink, speaking in a way that conveyed another type of learning they might do. Dil´s face could not be redder. He grabbed Jill´s hand and they bolted upstairs. Phil chuckled to himself. His work was done. 

An hour passed, and he heard Dil and Jill come to down the stairs. He looked up from the book he had picked up and smiled at them.

¨Jill are you leaving already? We can always make an extra plate of dinner!¨ Jill smiled.

¨Yeah, well I need to get home to do some chores and stuff. But I had a really nice time!¨ She said from the open doorway. Then, suddenly, she bolted over to Dil and gave him a peck on the cheek. ¨Thanks Dil!¨ She yelled happily, and then shut the door behind her. Dil stood there, frozen. He slowly brought his hand up to his cheek in shock. Phil looked at his son smugly. 

¨You´re welcome¨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment what you think! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think!


End file.
